Faults
by LLTogetherForever
Summary: Lorelai deals with the pain of losing Luke in the only way she knows how: blaming other people. Post Partings, some LorelaiChristopher. Complete.
1. One: Faults

It had been a month since the disaster between Luke and Lorelai happened. Lorelai was keeping her feelings all bottled up inside, something that Sookie wasn't surprised about. The two friends were in the kitchen at the Dragonfly, the place Lorelai had taken to hanging out in more. She had always talked to Sookie back here, but now she was almost never anywhere else.

"Lorelai, what's wrong? You're usually so happy this time of year. You know, it's warm, and Rory's back from school." Sookie asked. She put her vegetables back into the refrigerator. Lorelai asked her to make her chicken soup. Sookie noticed that she hadn't been acting like herself lately. Never would Lorelai Gilmore ask for a healthy meal. Now she wanted chicken soup. With meat. And vegetables. Two things Lorelai did not eat unless they were in the form of a burger or inside a cardboard container with an "Al's" logo on the side.

"I was just thinking about Carolyn Bates." Lorelai said, taking a sip of coffee from the light blue mug Sookie had just handed her.

"Isn't she that psychologist your parents set Christopher up with the day that--" She paused. "Well you know the day."

Lorelai sighed and nodded. "Yep, she's the one." She set the coffee down on the counter to pick up a spoon to play with.

Sookie sliced a piece of cooked chicken vertically, then horizontally. She tossed the small cubed pieces into a pot with boiling chicken stock and cut vegetables. Lorelai looked confused.

"That's all you have to do? Throw stuff in a pot?" Lorelai asked. She peered over into the pot to look at the boiling soup.

"Yep, pretty much." Sookie covered the pot and leaned on the counter. "Now tell me why you were thinking about Carolyn."

"I don't know. I was just thinking and she creeped into my brain. Stupid thing. It's always working when I don't want it to." She hit herself on the head playfully.

"You're lying." Sookie said. "I know you well enough to know that you make a joke out of everything you don't want to talk about. Be a big girl and tell me." Sookie joked.

"First of all, I'm not in the mood for jokes. Secondly, if you must know, I was just thinking that if she went home with Christopher, or out to coffee with him, I'd still be with Luke. Or if I didn't spill my guts to her in the car that night, I'd still be with Luke. If she didn't tell me to break up with him, I'd still be with Luke. It just seems that I can trace back everything that's happened to me in the past few weeks to her. To that dinner at my parents house. She's my problem. If she didn't come to dinner, the yelling in the street wouldn't have happened, and the ultimatum wouldn't have come out of my mouth, and I wouldn't have slept with Christopher. It's just that everything that happened to me recently are things I can blame on her. It makes me feel better." Lorelai explained. The look on Sookie's face proved she was listening intently.

"Look, honey. It's not her fault. It's Luke's. He made you go over the edge. He didn't tell you about April, he didn't tell you she existed. If he would have, none of this would have happened." Sookie said. She was hoping that if she could show Lorelai that Luke was the cause of her problems, she'd go back to being her old self. Somehow, this made her more upset.

"Then maybe it's April's fault." Lorelai said. She traded the spoon for the coffee mug and took a long, deep drink.

"Lorelai, honey, it's not April's fault. She didn't do anything." Sookie reasoned.

"If she hadn't been so curious to find her father, Luke wouldn't have had the pressure of telling me on him, and we never would have postponed the wedding, and we'd be married right now."

"No. You can't blame the kid for wanting to know her father. Luke should have told you. _He should have told you_."

"Yeah, but if April wasn't there, he wouldn't have had to tell me." Lorelai said. She didn't believe what she was saying herself. She wanted to, but couldn't.

"Lorelai, its _Luke's_ fault. It's all Luke's fault. Everything is _Luke's_ fault. _He_ was the one who should have told you. When the two of you had that fight at your house when Jackson and I were over, you told me that after, you had agreed to never keep secrets from each other. What happened to that? It's Luke's fault." Sookie said.

"No, then it's my fault. When Luke started to space out, I should have talked to him. I just let him be. I was afraid we'd break up. I was afraid that he'd get annoyed; like he did the first time we broke up. It's my fault. And Carolyn's." Lorelai said. She put her mug down. "I can't drink this." She looked away, and then walked quickly out of the room. Sookie yelled to Raul to finish the soup, and then went racing after Lorelai.

She was found standing behind the reception desk, leafing through paperwork with her glasses on. It was more than obvious that she was truly broken. Her usual demeanor and overall spirit was gone. She didn't act like herself at all anymore. Sookie went to her, hoping that she, as a friend, would be able to calm her down a little. She tried the back rubbing, the sympathetic glances, and the "let's just talk about its". Finally, after the third back rubbing, Lorelai collapsed. She ripped the glasses off her face and tears stained the papers in front of her. Sookie turned her towards herself, gathering Lorelai's shaking body into her arms. They stood in the embrace for a minute or so, before Lorelai let go and took a few deep breaths.

"It wasn't you." Sookie muttered quietly. Lorelai's eyes opened and shut, and her fingers traveled up her face to wipe the tears that had already fallen from them. Then, Sookie watched as her friend took cautious steps to the couch where she sat down and took out her cell phone. Sookie smiled, knowing who she was calling, knowing why, and knowing that Rory was the only person besides Luke that could help her. Lorelai put her phone to her ear as Sookie was walking through the door to the kitchen.

"Hi, Chris." Lorelai's soft voice spoke out. Sookie stopped dead in her tracks. "I need you to come here. To Star's Hollow. Please, I need you." Lorelai listened to what he said to her, and then shook her head.

"No! Tell your boss you can't work today. Chris, I need you. Please come. Please. Please." Her voice faded out. She listened one more time before speaking.

"We need to talk. We need to talk about everything that's happened. Just come see me." Lorelai closed the phone and set it down on the table in front of her. She held a pillow close and snuggled down into the couch. Sookie began to walk back into the lobby, but decided against it. Lorelai would be upset that she listened in on the conversation.

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It was about two hours before Christopher finally arrived at the Inn. Lorelai had resumed her spot at the reception desk and was again leafing though paperwork. Chris stood at the archway into the lobby and watched her until Lorelai's head popped up and their eyes connected.

"Chris." Lorelai said.

"Lor. What's wrong?" Chris had moved from the entrance to the lobby to the rug in front of the desk.

"I just—we need to talk." Lorelai came out and led Christopher back to her office, where she shut the door and pulled up a chair for him to sit. Christopher had, like Sookie, sensed something wrong.

"Lor, you know I'm here for you. Tell me what's going on." Chris ignored the chair that had been brought for him and stood in front of Lorelai, who hadn't sat down yet. He placed his hands on her hips, to which she tensed.

"Chris, _don't_ touch me. I can't be touched right now." Lorelai said. "_This_ is how we got into this mess in the first place." Christopher removed his hands from her body and let them hang limply to his sides. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away.

"What's the matter with you? You aren't yourself. Are you ok?" Christopher asked. He turned her head gently towards him, and then pulled back when she gave him a look that could break glass.

"How do you _think _I am, Christopher? What do _you_ think?"

"Lor—"

"My name is _Lorelai_. Not _Lor_. This will be a hell of a lot easier if you'd just call me by my name." Lorelai said. She had wanted to tell him that for years.

"Sorry. Lorelai, why won't you just tell me what's wrong? If it has anything to do with what I think it has to do with, I'm part of it. Tell me." Christopher said, staring into Lorelai's eyes.

"We shouldn't have done that."

"Why not? It was great. You have to admit that."

"God, Chris! You are such a sixteen year old. You're the same kid I had a baby with 21 years ago. I would think you'd grow up. But no. All you can think of is, 'It was great.' How inconsiderate of you."

"That's not what I meant."

"Yes it was. It was what you meant, and you know it. Did you ever think of how it was for me? How uncomfortable and terrifying it was for me? No, you didn't. You never think of anyone but yourself."

"I thought it was good for you."

"Good for me? Yeah, right. It hurt. Physically and emotionally. All I could think of was what I was doing to Luke. All I could do was lay there and pretend to be ok, for your sake."

"You didn't have to do that." Chris said. He tried to back down, but Lorelai wasn't letting him.

"No, I didn't. But it was partly my decision to do it, and I couldn't turn you away."

"I'm sorry." Christopher whispered. Lorelai wiped her eyes and looked down at her feet before speaking quietly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything. It's my fault. It's all my fault." She collapsed again, this time into Chris's arms. He held her silently, his chin resting on her head. They stood for a while, until there was a knock on the door.

"Mom? Sookie called me and told me you needed someone. Can I come in?"


	2. Two: Inns Are Fine For Fighting

**Molinhas-** Thanks!

**cywen69**-, I agree with you 98. First, I agree with you that it's not all Luke's fault. In the story, Lorelai blames herself as well. Second, I also agree that they should have talked more, but in the end, nothing would have happened if Luke just would have told Lorelai in the first place. Lorelai should have told Luke what Anna said, that's her fault. Although if he told her when he first found out about April, she may not have taken it any different. At least she wouldn't be mad that he didn't tell her. Thanks for the review!

**A/N: Just to clarify, Lorelai never told Rory about her night with Christopher.**

**Previously:**

_"You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything. It's my fault. It's all my fault." She collapsed again, this time into Chris's arms. He held her silently, his chin resting on her head. They stood for a while, until there was a knock on the door._

_"Mom? Sookie called me and told me you needed someone. Can I come in?"_

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Lorelai pulled herself away from Chris, and rubbed her forehead. "Sure, kid."

Rory walked into the room. "Dad!" She ran over to Christopher and gave him a hug. When they let go, she had a curious look on her face. "What are you doing here?" She turned to Lorelai. "Why is he here?"

"Is he not allowed to be here?" Lorelai asked.

"No, he is. I just wondered. He hasn't been around in the past few weeks, after Luke and you split up." Rory said. Lorelai looked down. "Sorry, mom. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just saying, he hasn't been around."

"Rory, come sit down with me over there." Lorelai motioned Rory over to the couch, and Chris followed. He took a seat on the arm, while the girls sat next to each other on the couch, Lorelai's arm around Rory's shoulders.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

"Rory, remember when I told you where I went that night?" Lorelai said, her voice quieter.

"What night?" Rory asked. She thought about it when Lorelai didn't say anything. "Oh, never mind. Keep talking."

"Do you remember?"

"Yeah, you said you went to Sookie's for the night." Rory answered.

"Right. That's what I said." She paused. "Well, I didn't actually end up there."

"What? Then where did you go?" Rory asked. She looked up at Chris, and back at Lorelai. "You didn't."

"Didn't what?" Lorelai asked.

"You didn't go to Dad's, did you?" Rory asked. She pulled away from Lorelai's arm, and stood up. Lorelai couldn't speak. Rory was mad, and Rory hardly ever got mad. Chris spoke for her.

"Ror, your mom came to Boston. She needed a friend."

"She has me for that. And Sookie." Rory angrily contested.

"She couldn't go to you. You love Luke, trust me, you wouldn't have been able to handle it." Christopher said.

"Wouldn't be able to _handle _it? I'm 21 years old. I'm the editor of my school paper. I'm in the middle of a long-distance relationship. I think I can handle talking to my mother."

"Rory. Stop it." Lorelai whispered.

"Stop what! Every time you go to him, you lose a relationship. This time, it's with your fiancée. Don't you care?"

"He said no, Ror. He said no to me. He doesn't love me anymore."

"Luke? Luke is completely head over heels in love with you. Are you blind? You must be." Rory argued.

"No, he isn't. He doesn't love me, maybe he did, but April took my place."

"What are you talking about? April can't take your place. Is that what this is all about? April?"

"No."

"Then what is it about?"

"I slept with your dad." Lorelai pushed out. Rory stared at her. Then at Chris.

"What did you do to her?" Rory asked.

"_Do _to her? Nothing. She came over, we drank a little, and one thing after another, we ended up in bed."

"Don't be mad, Rory." Lorelai said.

"You cheated on Luke! I never thought you would go so low, mom. Never did I think you could do that to him. Don't you love him?"

"I didn't cheat on him. We were already broken up. I don't know if I love him. I don't know if I can." Lorelai muttered.

"Broken up? Luke was asking where you were all night! He was trying to find you! He needed to talk to you, he said, and he couldn't find you. I told him you were at Sookie's, and that's where he went. I didn't see him again that night. Maybe he figured out where you were. Maybe he was too upset to talk to me again. He didn't think you were broken up! You do love him! That's why you're so upset!" Rory yelled at Lorelai.

"Don't yell at her! She's dealing with enough right now. She doesn't need you mad at her too." Chris yelled back.

Lorelai sprang up. "Stop it, both of you! Just stop!" She yelled.

"I have to go." Rory said. She looked at each of her parents and left. Lorelai sunk back into the couch, and Chris sat down next to her. She put her head in his lap.

"I hate this."

"I know." He stroked her head.

"I think I need to talk to Luke."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked.

"For putting you through this."

"I love every second of it."

"No, you don't." Lorelai said, she turned so she was on her back and looking up to him.

"You have no idea." He bent down and kissed her.

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Later that night, Lorelai was laying in bed at home, the covers tucked around her and two pillows behind her head. She had been trying to get a hold of Luke at the diner, but no one answered. She tried his cell phone, but it was off. Finally, she gave up, got dressed, and left for the diner.

The walk there was uneventful. No one was outside. As she passed the town square, there was no one but Kirk out. Normally, this time of year, people were outside until all hours.

She arrived at Luke's, which was closed. It's too early to be closed, she thought. She reached up above the door frame and got the spare key, and let herself into the diner. It was all cleaned up, chairs on the tables and the donut plates empty. Lorelai flicked on a light, and made her way to the stairs. At first, she contemplated whether or not to go up. Luke would be surprised to see her. Maybe he would be mad. After a minute of thought, she took the stairs two at a time and knocked on the door without hesitation.


	3. Three: Second Chances

**LorLukealways- **I hope you liked it!

**A/N: This chapter is more PG-13 than T. There's nothing really bad in it, but just a little warning. Also, Luke knows about the night with Chris.**

**Previously:**

_She arrived at Luke's, which was closed. It's too early to be closed, she thought. She reached up above the door frame and got the spare key, and let herself into the diner. It was all cleaned up, chairs on the tables and the donut plates empty. Lorelai flicked on a light, and made her way to the stairs. At first, she contemplated whether or not to go up. Luke would be surprised to see her. Maybe he would be mad. After a minute of thought, she took the stairs two at a time and knocked on the door without hesitation._

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At first, Lorelai didn't think he would answer. After all, the diner had been locked up. The door opened a crack, just enough for him to look out. When Luke saw who it was, the door opened immediately, and she walked into the small apartment. They stared at each other for a while, until Luke asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you."

"Okay. Talk." Luke said,

"Right here? Can we go sit at the table or something?"

"Yeah. Do you want a beer?" Luke asked.

"Sure, thanks." Lorelai said. She sat down at the table. Luke placed the bottle in front of her, already opened. He took a seat across from Lorelai, and took a long drink before talking.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked her.

"Everything. We need to talk about everything we didn't talk about. We need to talk about why we didn't talk about them. We need to talk about why we did what we did, and what's going to happen now." Lorelai said. She took a drink.

"Why? Why should I talk to you?" Lorelai froze. She didn't have an answer for him. They weren't getting married, so that wasn't a reason. They weren't even dating. As far as she knew, they weren't even friends. "Why, Lorelai? Why should I be nice to you after everything that you did to me?"

"I don't know."

"Me neither."

"Can we just talk? We don't need a reason to talk." She asked.

"Yes we do. You don't walk up to someone and start talking without a reason. What's your reason?"

"I don't want it to be like that, Luke. I want us to be friends."

"Is that your reason?" He asked her.

"I guess so."

"Fine. Now where would you like to start?"

"When we promised each other we wouldn't keep secrets. Remember when Christopher called, and you caught me listening to the message?"

"Yes."

" Do you remember that night, we had a fight over dinner when Sookie and Jackson were over?"

"Yes."

"Remember when we were up in your apartment, and we agreed on the 'no secrets' policy?"

"When you asked me for a pony?"

"That's the time."

"I know. That no secrets policy didn't exactly work, did it?" He said.

"No, it didn't." She took a drink from the beer bottle. "Why?"

"I'm not sure. We should talk about that, too."

"Ok, let's talk about that. You waited two full months before telling me you had a daughter. I would have understood. I have one too. If our relationship was strong enough, you wouldn't have had the pressure of telling me about her."

"I should have told you. I was afraid, and you know why. I told you already. She'd like you better than she'd like me."

"You still should have included me."

"I know." Luke said. "Now how about we talk about why you didn't tell me about your little talk with Anna?"

"Because you didn't want me to."

"There are a lot of things you do when I don't want you to, and I end up finding out."

"It was really hard for me to listen to what she said because I knew she was right. An engagement doesn't mean a marriage will happen for sure. I was engaged to Max, and we never got married. You and I never got married. Anna was doing the same thing to April as I did to Rory when she was a kid. She never really got to know anyone I dated except for Max and You. She was just protecting April's feelings. I couldn't tell you, because I agreed with her."

"Oh come on.You agreed with her? Didn't you just say you wanted to be in April's life?"

"Yes, but I should have gotten Anna's permission first."

"Why do you need her permission? All the men you slept with didn't need permission from Christopher. I'm her father. You could've asked me"

"All the men I slept with? What am I now? The town slut?"

"There must have been a lot of them."

"Are you crazy? When most people my age were dating, I was breastfeeding a baby, or changing a diaper, or teaching Rory how to walk. I've only been close to four people in my entire life. Chris, Max, Jason, and You. I'm not a slut. You must have been with more than me."

"Four. Anna, Rachel, Nicole and You."

"Forget it. You don't know what it's like to be the mother of a teenage girl. It's so stressful, and tiring. You have to watch out for her. Watch who she talks to, who she befriends. That's hard. That's really hard. I would have given Anna the chance to get to know me better in the first place, but you wouldn't let me into April's life anyway."

"I'm sorry about that."

"I know." Lorelai said. "Next, we have the big one. The confrontation in the street."

"Do we have to talk about that?"

"Yes. I didn't give you enough time to go over it. I knew that you would need it, but I couldn't give it to you. I needed an immediate comfort. I needed to know you'd be there with me all the way. I didn't think you would, so I decided to find out."

"Eloping wasn't the answer to our problems, Lorelai. It was just running away from them." Luke finished his beer and got up to get another one.

"No, Luke. No, it wasn't. Getting married would solve everything. I would have you, and I would know it. We wouldn't have to worry about Anna anymore, since we'd be married, I could be part of April's life without Anna being worried about her. We'd be together."

He sat down again. "Do you really think that? We had so many things to work out. Once we were married, yes, it'd be better. But after a while, those things would come back to haunt us."

"We'd have an entire honeymoon to talk it out, plus the rest of our lives." She took a long drink.

"You want to spend your life working out problems that should have been solved earlier? Why would you want that?"

"I just needed to know that you were with me, on the same page as me. You weren't."

"No, I wasn't." Luke said. "The last thing I want to talk about is why you went to Christopher. Why you slept with him. How you could do that to me."

"I went to him because I knew he'd be there for me. He wouldn't be mad. Sookie would understand and comfort me. Rory would try to work it out. I didn't want to work it out, or be understood. I wanted it to all go away. So we drank until I couldn't feel it anymore. I knew that the one thing I could do to truly lose you was to sleep with him. So I did. I needed that weight off of my shoulders. I had to know that you were gone. Afterwards, I felt dirty and disgusting. I still wanted you. It didn't go away. I wanted you to be the one lying next to me. I wanted the arm thrown across my body to be yours. I wanted to be in our bed, with a ring on my finger."

"Did you take off your ring?"

"In the middle. It was on until I realized what I was really doing. I had to take it off." Lorelai drank again, this time finishing the bottle. Luke got her another one.

"Thanks for taking it off." Luke said. Lorelai nodded.

"Do you want us to be over?" Lorelai asked quietly.

"No, but we can't be together anymore. You know that, I know that." Luke said.

"Why?"

"Because we don't trust each other."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes. You know I love you, I've always loved you, and I always will love you."

"I don't know you love me. Ever since you found out about April, I never knew that you loved me. You never said it anymore, you never showed it anymore."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you."

"You didn't show me either." They both stood up and met at the side of the table, where their lips were immediately on each other's. This kiss was needy. It had been so long since they kissed like this. His hands were underneath her shirt in seconds, caressing the soft skin of her flat stomach, edging higher until they reached the under wire of her bra. She pulled away when she felt a finger slip underneath it.

"Luke, we can't do this."

"Why not?"

"We just can't. Friends don't do this."

"Some friends do. We can."

"No, Luke. I can't. I can't be like that." Luke stared at her. She had tears in the corners of her eyes. He wiped them away and kissed her forehead.

"Haven't you heard of friends with benefits?"

"I'm not doing that, Luke. Either we're all in or all out. None of that 'benefits' crap."

"So let's be all in."

"We can't. It's over, Luke. We're friends. Nothing more. You go back to serving me my coffee, and I'll go back to being the annoying woman at your diner."

"You mean you'll go back to being the crazy lady at my diner."

"Sure, whatever. I'll go back to being the crazy lady; you go back to being the coffee pourer."

"I don't want that. I want to be closer than that."

"Okay, I'll let you give me donuts too, if you want."

"Lorelai, why don't you want to come back to me? If anything, I should be bad at you for sleeping with Christopher. I'm giving you a second chance. I can't promise I'll want to again."

"I need time. I need to find out where my relationship with Chris is. I need time."

"You didn't care when I needed time to think about eloping. I shouldn't have to give you time, either." Luke argued.

Lorelai nodded. "You're right. You shouldn't give me time. I don't deserve it. I can't be with you, Luke. It's too emotionally draining. I'm sorry."

Luke watched her walk through the door, and watched until she was out of view through the window as she walked home.


	4. Four: She Never Cried

**LorLukealways- **You're right on the money. Way to be the first one to figure it out!

**BFD- **You got it too. She's supposed to be messed up. Although it doesn't seem it yet, it's completely LL, and that'll come out in either the next chapter or the one after.

**Sarahb2007- **First of all, thanks for reviewing so much, it means a lot to me. Lorelai isn't walking away from Luke. You'll see. I'm with you on the Chris thing. 

**Litizreal- **I completely agree. Thanks for the review!

**cywen69- **They will, I can promise that. Thanks for reviewing!

**A/N: I'm getting mixed reviews about this story. The point of it is that Lorelai doesn't know what she wants from her life. I should have clarified that earlier. If this is getting confusing to you, go back and read slowly. Everything has a point. Lorelai's views on her relationships with both Christopher and Luke are ever-changing, and that's what I'm trying to convey in this story. It's the same in the show. Right now, she's with Chris, but it's obvious that her heart's still with Luke. I hope everyone keeps reading, I know this is convoluted, as it has been pointed out to me, but keep on going. By the end of the story, what Lorelai wants and what she gets will be straight up, no confusion, I promise. Okay, long author's note, now get to reading!!**

**Another PG-13 rating on this chapter… again, nothing bad, but a little above the T rating.**

**Previously:**

"_You didn't care when I needed time to think about eloping. I shouldn't have to give you time, either." Luke argued._

_Lorelai nodded. "You're right. You shouldn't give me time. I don't deserve it. I can't be with you, Luke. It's too emotionally draining. I'm sorry."_

_Luke watched her walk through the door, and watched until she was out of view through the window as she walked home._

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The walk home, like the walk to Luke's was uneventful. Lorelai had spent over two hours with Luke. It took longer to get home this time, as she was walking slowly, going over what had just happened. She said no to Luke, after she'd been waiting for him to take her back for weeks. She was confused. If she wanted him back so much, why did she leave?

Once home, Lorelai kicked off her shoes and threw some strawberry Poptarts into the toaster. Sitting at the kitchen table, called Chris and told him to come over as soon as he could. It was about 5:30, and by 6, Lorelai had eaten her Poptarts and ran the dishwasher. The doorbell rang at about quarter after 6. Lorelai opened it to see Chris, and gave him a soft kiss on the lips before letting him into the hallway.

"Thanks for coming, Chris." Lorelai said. Chris took off his shoes and left them next to hers.

"Of course. Did you go see Luke?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah, I did." She answered while walking into the living room. Chris, as usual, followed.

"How'd it go?"

"It was interesting." She admitted.

"Yeah?"

"We talked about everything, and then he asked me to go back to him."

"He did?"

"Yep." Lorelai said. She leaned on the back of the couch. Chris stood in front of her.

"What'd you say?"

"I said no." She answered. Chris smiled, then leaned in and kissed her deeply. "I thought you'd be happy." She giggled.

Chris stood between her legs and kissed her again, this time exploring her mouth with his tongue. She moaned into his mouth and pulled away.

"What do you say to taking this little thing here upstairs? Lorelai asked, running her hands down the back of his head and to his neck.

"I say 'let's go'." He threw her over his shoulder, eliciting a giggle from her mouth, and carried her upstairs, and shut the door behind them.

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The next morning, Lorelai woke up next to Chris, his arm around her. It gave her memories of the night she ran to him, and she got scared. She shook his arm off of her and got up. Chris awoke suddenly, and seeing that she was out of bed with the sheets wrapped around her, was instantly confused.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing."

"Why did you get up?"

"I woke up." She stated.

"I got that. Why?" He asked.

"I don't know why people wake up when they do."

"You know what I mean." Christopher said.

"Memories."

"Oh. Should I go?" Chris asked.

"No, you don't have to go, I need to take a shower and get dressed." Lorelai said.

"I'll go downstairs."

"I'll be down in a minute." She told him, and watched as he got out of bed and grabbed his clothes.

"See ya down there." Chris pulled on his clothes and left the room, leaving Lorelai standing alone. She dropped the sheet, got some clothes together, and then went into the bathroom to start up the shower.

Downstairs, Chris had put together breakfast—cereal and poptarts. He poured two glasses of orange juice and sat down at the table to wait for Lorelai.

The water was hotter than normal when she got into the shower. She washed her hair with the fruity shampoo she had left on the floor of the shower and washed her body with the citrus shower gel Rory bought her. After 10 minutes of just standing, letting the water run down her body, Lorelai got out, wrapped a towel around her and got dressed in the jeans and t-shirt she had laid out.

She went downstairs after running her fingers through her hair to let it dry naturally. When she saw Chris at the table, she couldn't help herself.

"Awww. You made me breakfast." She said, going over to peck him on the lips.

"Yes I did. Poptarts and Cereal. You like?"

"I love." She replied. She sat at the table where her food was and started to eat.

"So, what are you planning for today?" Chris asked before taking a bite of a Poptart.

"Well, if Rory will talk to me, I was thinking about taking her out for a shopping trip and lunch."

"Sounds fun. I have to get home and get Gigi to her nanny for the weekend, so I can come back here. That's what you want, right?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, come back." She said after finishing her cereal.

"Ok. I have to go around 11; I'll be back around 2."

"I won't be home yet. Do you want to meet me and Rory for lunch? I'll call her now to see if she'll actually go, but if she does…"

"I don't know, Lorelai. Will she want me there? Isn't she already mad at me?"

"She's mad at me, too. If she agrees to see me, I think she'll be alright seeing you." Lorelai said. She got up to grab the cordless phone, and when she sat back down, dialed Rory's cell.

"Hello?" Rory's voice came through the phone.

"Hey, Ror. How are you?" Lorelai asked. She shrugged her shoulders when Chris looked at her funny.

"Good, you?" Rory asked.

"Oh, I'm fine."

"That's good."

"Yeah. So listen, I was thinking about doing some shopping and then lunch at Weston's. Interested?" Lorelai asked. She crossed her fingers.

"I've got some stuff going on in New Haven." Rory said.

"Can't you get out of it?" Lorelai asked.

"I guess so. What time?" Rory asked.

"Come to the house around 10? Chris is leaving at 11 to take Gigi to the nanny."

"Dad's there?" Rory asked.

"Yeah. He stayed here last night." Lorelai asked. She immediately regretted it.

"You slept with him again?!" Rory exclaimed.

"Rory, it doesn't matter. Is 10 okay with you?" Lorelai asked.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?"

"It doesn't matter! Is 10 okay or not?"

"It's fine."

"Good. I'll see you then." Lorelai shut her phone.

"She's not happy, is she?" Chris asked.

"Oh no, she's the epitome of happiness at the moment."

Chris cocked his head to the side. "Oh! Joke. Right." Lorelai laughed. It took Chris longer to figure out when she was joking or not. Luke knew immediately. He also knew that when she made a joke like that, she was usually upset. Chris didn't realize that.

"Right, joke."

"So, movie before Rory comes?" Chris asked.

"Like at a movie theater? We don't have time; she'll be here in an hour."

"Don't you have any movies here?"

"I'm a self diagnosed movie addict. Of course I have movies." Lorelai said, getting up from the table and walking into the living room. "What are you in the mood for?"

"I don't know, something good." Chris said, and then added, "No chick movies."

"Aww, no chick movie? Fine, mister. Your choices are: Pippi, because she never gets old, Wizard of Oz, rather not watch that, or Elmo: The Movie."

"Elmo? Why the hell do you have an Elmo dvd?" Chris said, stifling a laugh.

"It's Gigi's. She left it here when I babysat her here that one time. I forgot about it." Lorelai giggled, looking at the cover. She flipped it over and read, "Elmo wants you to come play with him! Join the fun as Elmo shows you around his neighborhood and introduces you to his friends! Rated PG."

"I bought my daughter an Elmo movie?" Chris asked.

"Apparently."

"Elmo's rated PG?"

"What has our world come to? Let's watch!" Lorelai said excitedly. Chris sat down on the couch while Lorelai put the movie it. She joined him back on the couch and snuggled into his shoulder.

The opening credits came on and there's Elmo, parading around the screen. Soon you're introduced to his friends, Oscar and Big Bird. After some pleading with Oscar, the three friends go on an adventure to find the "Red Jewel," a ruby that Elmo lost.

"What is Elmo doing with a Ruby?" Chris asked.

"Shhhh!" Lorelai replied, "I'm trying to watch."

Chris laughed and grabbed the remote off of the coffee table. "Time to turn Elmo off."

"We only watched 5 minutes of it." Lorelai argued.

"I have better ideas." Chris said, and pushed her down onto her back.

"I'm liking your ideas." Lorelai said. Her mouth was soon covered by his and hands roamed each others bodies, Chris's hand slipping under her shirt immediately. His hand made lazy circles over her stomach as her hands went to cup the back of his neck and pull him closer to him. Lorelai pulled her mouth off of his. "We can't now. If we get started, Rory will be here before we're done."

"So, we can go upstairs."

"She'll hear us still." Lorelai said.

"Couch making out is good for me right now." Chris said.

"Me too." She leaned up for another kiss as her shirt was lifted higher. "Chris!" She said, pulling back.

"No groping allowed?"

"It's allowed, just no clothes removed, okay?" She was pushed back down.

"Okay." He said, lifting her shirt up to her neck and kissing paths up her stomach to the bottom of her bra. "Is this considered clothes?" He asked innocently.

"Yes."

"Can we make an exception for it?"

"Fine, but that's it." Lorelai said with a sigh. Chris reached around her back and unclasped the black bra and tossed it next to them onto the floor. His mouth attacked hers again as his hands went up to cup her breasts.

Suddenly, the door opened and Rory walked in. At first, she didn't see, or hear, her parents. She went into the kitchen, still oblivious to what was going on, as were Lorelai and Christopher. She fixed herself a sandwich, and when she went into the living room to eat it, was when she finally saw them.

She yelped, and dropped her plate onto the carpet. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry, I'll be going now." Rory said, grabbing her plate and putting her hand to the side of her face so she couldn't see into the living room. Lorelai pulled her shirt down and popped up into a sitting position.

"No, Rory, stay." Lorelai said. Chris ran the back of his hand over his mouth and got off of Lorelai. "Wow, this is awkward."

"Yeah…" Rory said. "I'll come back. You two just, uh, well I'll be back." She rushed out the door as Lorelai reached down to grab her bra. She hooked it on and covered it with her shirt. Chris helped her off the couch.

"I better go talk to her." Lorelai said, pointing towards the door. Chris nodded and rubbed her back as she got up off the couch.

Rory was leaning on the porch railing when Lorelai came out. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was looking out towards the street. Lorelai approached, and copied her position.

"So…" Lorelai started.

"Yeah, so." Rory said.

"We weren't expecting you for another half hour."

"I came early. Won't do that again." Rory said sarcastically.

"Rory, I don't like this." Lorelai said. She stood up and leaned against a pole.

"What don't you like?" Rory asked rudely, tilting her head to see her mother.

"Us, this." She said, motioning between the two. Rory said nothing. "Is this all because of Luke? Because I'm not with Luke anymore? Is it because I slept with your dad? Is that it, Rory?"

"He isn't good for you!" Rory shouted.

"No, Luke wasn't good for me! He lied to me!"

"He never lied to you."

"Not telling me about April is just as bad." Lorelai said.

"Are you serious? You're going back to the April thing again? It's not her fault."

"I didn't say it was her fault!"

"You meant it." Rory stood up.

"That's it, isn't it? You want me to be with Luke. You think Luke's the answer to all of our problems, don't you?" Lorelai asked.

"Luke's right for you! You're right for him! You two fit. You and dad don't! If you did, you'd be married by now! I wouldn't be the only kid you have!" Rory yelled. It hit Lorelai hard.

"Rory, you are a kid. You may be legally an adult, but you don't understand this. Luke needs to be out of my life, out of our life. Chris _is _good for me. He is. We never would have worked before now. He's grown up now, Ror. He's a man now. He's not the sixteen year old kid who asked me to marry him when I got pregnant with you!"

"Yes he is. Don't you see that?"

"No! I don't. I don't see where you get that from!"

"I can't deal with this now. I'm leaving." Rory picked up her purse of the ground next to her feet and marched down the steps and onto the grass. Lorelai followed her.

"I was right, you _are _me. Running away from your problems. You can't run forever, Rory."

Rory stopped and turned around. "Listen! I love you too much to stand here and watch you get hurt again! Everytime he comes here, you end up heartbroken. But, unlike when you broke up with Luke that first time, never have you cried, mom. Never. You don't love him. You love Luke. I'll be back when you come to your senses." She continued walking to her car. Lorelai didn't stop her, she just watched her daughter pull away. She walked back to the steps and sat down, letting the tears fall. Chris, who had heard the whole argument from inside, came out to comfort her.

"Lorelai, she'll be back. She always is." He sat down next to her. She rested her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her. Lorelai shook her head into his shirt.

"She's right." Chris let go of her. She jerked downward and pulled herself into a sitting position.

"What?" He asked.

"She's right. I love Luke." Lorelai admitted.

"Where is this coming from?" Chris asked angrily.

"My heart. It's always been Luke. She's right. I have to go." Lorelai got up and ran across the yard to her car. Before Chris could run after her, she had pulled out onto the street and sped away.


	5. Five: It's What She Wants

**Sarahb2007- **She isn't walking away.

**LorLukealways**- I'm a big tease, I know. Here's the happy part: I'm not anymore. Thanks for the review!

**Minor-thing- **I know what you mean, I've been having trouble with this. I'll try to get some more in here, this chapter is huge thought and feelings-wise. Thanks for the review!

**Cywen69- **Your wish is my command. She'll figure it out. I'm getting a lot of messages from people comparing Lorelai's struggle to Meredith's in Grey's Anatomy. Just like Meredith, Lorelai will finally know what she wants.

**A/N: I'm looking for a beta for stories I write in the future. I need someone who has experience writing both dialogue and thought, and can help me. If you know someone that is interested, or you are looking to do the job yourself, send me a private message or an email at: lltogetherforever2(at)yahoo(dot)com. Now, here's the long awaited chapter!**

**Previously:**

"_She's right. I love Luke." Lorelai admitted._

"_Where is this coming from?" Chris asked angrily._

"_My heart. It's always been Luke. She's right. I have to go." Lorelai got up and ran across the yard to her car. Before Chris could run after her, she had pulled out onto the street and sped away._

…………………**.LL…………………….LL…………………………….LL……………**

"Luke! I know you're in there, open up!" Lorelai yelled as she pounded on the diner door. The "Gone Fishing" sign was up, but Lorelai knew he was home. She watched him enter the diner and place the sign on the door before rushing upstairs just minutes earlier. Luke had removed the key from the doorframe, and she couldn't get in like she did earlier. "Luke!" Lorelai exclaimed before collapsing on the ground, her head resting against the window. She sat like this for something like an hour before she made any move to get up.

Before their initial breakup, Lorelai had found it hard to stay away. She pestered Luke until he was too pressured to stay in the relationship. Between their makeup and the second breakup, Lorelai learned. Luke was a complex person, although he seemed overwhelmingly easy to figure out. When Lorelai had first moved to Star's Hollow with baby Rory so many years ago, that was the first thing she thought about him. That and that he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen, in his own ruggedly handsome way.

Lorelai stood up, and peered through the glass. There he was, standing at the counter. She wondered whether or not he had seen her. She banged on the door again. Luke looked up, pointed at the sign and looked back down. Lorelai was crushed. "Luke! Open up!"

He looked up again, took a deep breath, and walked to the window that Lorelai's face was pressed against. He looked down, like he was in regret, sorry for not being able to let her back to him. He gave her a chance, and she let it fly. When he looked back up, she mouthed "I'm sorry" to him. He nodded slowly, and returned to the counter.

Lorelai stood in place for a few more minutes before taking out her cell phone and calling inside the diner. It rang twice before Luke realized it was her calling. He picked up the phone.

"Hi." Lorelai said. Outside, she picked up her hand to wave, but put it back down. Luke looked at her. "Listen, I know I blew it. I know. Just let me in. Into the diner."

"I gave you your chance. You're out of chances." Luke said in a monotone voice.

"I know. Just let me in, I have something to tell you." She pleaded.

"You sit in a stool at the counter, I stand behind it." Luke said before hanging up the phone. Lorelai flipped her phone closed, silently agreeing while he unlocked the door for her.

The last time she was in the diner, she didn't know what she wanted out of him. Yes, she wanted him back, but she didn't take him. Something came over her. Something in her mind told her to leave, told her not to bother him anymore. She was out, and he could move on. Now, she wanted him back, and planned on talking him. Nothing would or could stop her. She wasn't going to move on.

"I broke up with Christopher."

"First you tell me you slept with him, now you broke up?" Luke asked, his voice was quiet. Lorelai nodded.

"Does he know? Or did you just walk away like you did to Max?" Luke asked sarcastically. Lorelai looked him in the eyes.

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Why not? We aren't together. We aren't going to _be _together. I can talk to you however I want."

Lorelai began to tear up. "Do you love me, Luke?"

"I did." He replied. Lorelai nodded.

"Okay." She said, sliding off the stool and heading for the door. He watched her go.

She was instantly reminded of that night weeks earlier. How he rejected her, and she walked away. Her arms had been crossed, as they were now, subconsciously protecting herself. Luke didn't know that the only thing he had to do to make her run back to him was say something. Anything.

Lorelai continued down the street, waiting for Luke to do what he should have the first time she walked away like this. Once she passed the gazebo, her hopes died. Luke was a sensible man, and made his decisions quickly, most of the time. She was in her driveway when she heard a car come up behind her. It was hers. Luke was driving. She was in such a rush to get out of there that she had forgotten that she drove, and didn't walk to the diner.

"You forgot your car." He said, getting out.

"But I have the--"

Luke dangled her keys in front of her. "No you don't. You left them on the counter." Lorelai took them from her. She looked at them, and bit her lip.

"That's why you came back." She said.

"What?" Luke asked. Lorelai picked out a keychain and showed it to him. It was a picture of the two of them in a photo booth in New York, taken on a date. She never took it out. This was, in fact, the reason Luke returned her car to her. Otherwise, he would have called and told her to come pick it up.

Lorelai took a breath and kissed him. She pulled back a second later, and opened her eyes to see how he responded. He was smiling.

"So…?" She asked.

"Is Christopher here?"

"I don't think so; he was supposed to leave at 11."

"It's 12:15." Luke said.

"How do you know?" Lorelai asked. Luke pulled up his sleeve to show her a watch.

"Oh, right." She said.

He leaned in to kiss her again. He cradled her face in his hands as she pulled away.

"I missed you."

"I know. I missed you too." Lorelai said. Her phone rang. Luke took his hands off of her face and let her get her cell. She didn't look at the caller id.

"Hello?" She asked. Luke placed his hands on her hips and pulled her towards him.

"Hey." It was Christopher. He was probably calling to see if she changed her mind.

"Uh, hey." Lorelai pointed to the phone and mouthed "Chris" to Luke. He rolled his eyes and let go of her.

"Listen, this isn't a good time. Later?"

"Dinner."

"Chris, I can't." Of course he knew that she went to Luke. He watched her leave, he knew at the moment that her mind was made up.

"Then lunch. We'll go to Luke's."

"Chris, no!" She exclaimed. "I'm not having dinner, or lunch, with you. We're done. Understand? Done. I'm back with Luke now, everything's good. That's how I want it to be. This could possibly be the most cliché thing ever said, but, if you love me, you'd let me go." There was silence on the other end of the phone, and then a click. Lorelai closed her phone and rested her forehead on Luke's chest.

"So?" He asked.

"I'm an idiot." She said, partially muffled by his flannel. She was right. All this time she knew where she wanted to be. Heck, even Rory knew. Luke took her into his arms and held her.

"Yes. Yes you have. But you're my idiot now, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Luke chuckled. Lorelai slapped his arm. "Still violent, are we?" She looked up at him.

"Funny. You're funny." She said, pointing at him.

"So are you, crazy lady." Luke replied.

"But I'm your crazy lady, right?" Lorelai imagined the life ahead of them. Luke, Lorelai, Rory and April. Maybe a little one of their own soon. But they were good now.

"Forever." Luke smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Promise?" Lorelai asked.

"As long as you don't have any other daughters who have fathers you could run to, I promise."

"Good. I love you."

"And I love you. Forever and for always."

_Fin_


End file.
